Racing Toward the Crashing Point
Here I am, another Thursday night, trying to force out a blog post before rushing through the shower and falling into bed for a few blissful hours before my alarm goes off again. Why am I even trying anymore? Who has time for blogs (or any of my other favorite activities: crafts, art, reading, music…) ? Just give up and go to bed. Well I need some sort of fun in my life damn it.
I don’t know how real adults do this. I don’t count my 20-something-ness as being a real adult yet. Full time job and a life? How? I haven’t shaved my legs in a week. Why? I haven’t had time for a REAL shower since last weekend. It’s been a “wash the important parts and get out” kind of week. I’m really hoping once Kyle and I have our own place things will get better. Maybe a routine of some sort. Right now, I’m home Monday night after work. Tuesday nights I’m at Kyle’s. Wednesday’s we rush to dinner and a Bible study with friends before parting ways and I come home. Thursday I try to jam in all of the things I WANT to do while packing to go back to Kyle’s house for the weekends. He really has no idea how good he has it being the person that doesn’t travel in the relationship.
My head hurts and my body aches. And I keep asking how much longer till I smash into a wall and can’t go on.I must be getting closer by the second. I almost had a break down in Walmart on Tuesday. Why? I was on the switch board most of Monday and Tuesday and then the phone was ringing off the hook in Walmart in at least 2 departments! Talk about an office girls mental break down!
I just need a vacation and some sort of set schedule for all of my life’s activities that everyone else knows I can’t break. I feel so bad for not having time to call this person, or email that one, visit them. “We never see you anymore.” I never see me anymore either. Promise I am not this person with the dark circles under my eyes and the bitchy attitude. Cut me some slack guys, I’m working on it.