I am very bad at taking time for myself. I am constantly trying to help others. I am the definition of a people pleaser. “Sure I’ll help you with that”, “Someone else backed out, I’m there”, “I’m on it”. I just hate to let people down. It’s always easy to lay a guilt trip on me. And this is why I need to learn to say NO.
I need to do this for myself. I am the type of person that NEEDS alone time. I need down time to recharge. It’s nothing against anyone else, it’s just the way I am. I have been going non stop since the Monday after Easter, and if were going to be truthful, for a long time before that, that’s just when I started keeping track.
I’m at least finally down to just one full time job, instead of a full time, and a part time. But I’m starting the busiest part of my year. Summer is non stop. I already have May, and most of June and July booked solid. Ugh. Everyone needs something.
Sadly I think I’m going to have to cancel my Saturday plans (that everyone else backed out of on someone) simply so I can rest for a few hours. I’m so close to snapping. I’ve been rude and mean to too many people I care about in the last 2 days just because I’m so stressed.
Of course the rest I plan on taking on Saturday now, may cause more stress down the road, because I was supposed to be helping plan a up coming baby shower, but I think I may be able to handle the stress better later on, we will see I guess.
All I know is I’m getting sick of coming last in my own life. My house work is so far behind. My health is suffering. I have a to do list a page (front and back) long. My main request is that people in my life become more self sufficient or rely more on each other, and less on me. Sometimes it’s no good to be the person that is always there for everyone, people start to expect it and take advantage of it.
Ok, enough bitching and complaining, because honestly most of the time, I love being there for everyone and helping as much as I can. I just need someone else to take a turn.