Confessions of a Housekeeper

I am a professional housekeeper. I’ve been in housekeeping for almost 2 years on and off. I’d just like to vent a little and maybe put a few things out there that maybe people have never thought of after hiring someone to clean their home.

1. I am your housekeeper, not your mother. It is my job to clean, not “pick up” all of the shit you left laying around. If I can’t get to an area to clean it, it’s not getting cleaned. I also should not have to pick up your dirty under pants, it’s just not cool.

2. I am your housekeeper, not a miracle worker. Chances are, if you tried to clean something, and it didn’t come as clean as you wanted, don’t expect me to be able to do much better. I am only a human, with only Dollar Store company provided products, I can only do so much.

3. I am your housekeeper, not your pet sitter. Don’t expect me to let your dog in and, or out. Keep your pet out of my way, I am trying to work. How would you like it if I dropped my barking dog off in your office while you were trying to work? Also, you are the pet owner, not me. I should not have to clean litter boxes, of clean up animal droppings.

4. I am your housekeeper, not your maintenance person. If something in your house doesn’t work, that I need to clean with, don’t think that I have the time or the skills to fix it first.

5. I am your housekeeper, not your nanny. Keep your kids and their belongings out of my way, or you probably won’t get your house cleaned the way you want it.

6. I am your housekeeper, not a mind reader. If you want something done special, you should contact my office and have it added to your work order. I also have no idea where things actually belong in your home. I only know how to make it look pretty, and be clean.

7. I am your housekeeper, not your dishwasher. That sink full of dishes from the party you had over the weekend, so not my job. I will move them, clean the sink under them and then put them back.

8. I am your housekeeper, not your laundry person. It is not my job to sort, wash, dry, fold and or put away your clothing. It is only my job to change your sheets (when left out) and carry them to your laundry room, after that, it’s all you.

9. I am your housekeeper, not your landscaper. If it’s outside of the door threshold, it does not concern me.

10. I am your housekeeper, not an exterminator. I understand, we all have a few spiders in our home. And of course while dusting and cleaning I’m going to find one or two, but after 5, it’s not my job to kill it and clean it up. Have that shit bug bombed, or stop being such a nasty person that the bugs are attracted inside of your home. I should not have to vacuum up dead bugs to clean the floor, counter, or whatever.

Alright, I feel a little better now lol. You have no idea how many times I have wanted to leave notes for home owners about these things. Most are not this bad, but there are a few ever now and then that just expect the frickin moon and stars. Sorry guys 🙂

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About happilyeveryork

***I'm a pretty awesome newlywed and stay at home mom from Michigan. Just living life and sorting it out as I go. Follow me on twitter and instagram @happilyeveryork.***

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